Performance
by Vodka Martini
Summary: Just a little bit of fun on a break from the war. HM freindship. Short.


Disclaimer: Well, I don't own this show or any of the characters, although I wish I did. If I did, I wouldn't be writing stories here, I'd be writing it into the script!

_Dear Dad,_

_I thought I would take this moment to catch up on my writing to you, but then I realized that I have absolutely nothing to say. This is the fourth Easter that I have spent here, away from you and everyone else that I love, and all I can say is Happy Easter, because there is nothing else to say. I still think that Easter is my favourite holiday, just because when I think of it I can still see mom all dressed up for her favourite occasion and helping us to find the eggs that she had hidden around the house a few hours before. I miss her the most at this time of year, and I'm sure you do too. As I said, I though I would take this moment to catch up. And I also said that there is nothing else to say. You are probably asking yourself what is so important about this moment, and also why someone who has nothing to say is writing a whole letter, and not just a quick telegram. Well, here goes. These brilliant leaders of this man's army decided to get together with the other side and talk. So, as a little gift for all of the soldiers on both sides, we have declared a temporary truce. So, basically, there isn't going to be any more shooting for ten days. We have five left to go. This ceasefire is a great way to bore all of us out of our minds. Not that I enjoyed stitching together all of those kids, but now I really have nothing to do. More later, Dad._

Hawkeye Pierce put his pad and pencil on the table beside his cot and stood up, stretching. BJ was enjoying catching up on the sleep that he hadn't gotten in the war so far, and Charles and Father Mulcahey were in Seoul for supplies. Radar and Colonel Potter were over at the stable doing something with Sophie, and Klinger was making a new dress. Hawkeye still had one patient over in post-op, so he figured he would go over and see how he was doing. He must be pretty lonely stuck around here while his unit was having a blast somewhere celebrating the break. Hawk left the Swamp and walked out into the compound. Hmmm. Margaret Houlihan was walking this way. Interesting.

"Hey, Margaret, will you come with me for a minute?" he called, stepping out into her path.

"Hawkeye, I will come with you for the rest of the day if you can keep me occupied." she said, grinning at him.

"Hmmm, I'm sure I could come up with something..." he said, winking at her. She just shook her head and laughed at him making yet another pass at her. "Right this way, madam." he said. "I thought we could put on a little performance to keep our post-op patient occupied."

"What kind of performance?" she asked, immediately wary of one of Pierces plans.

"Romeo and Juliet?"

"PIERCE!"

"Ok, ok, I was just joking. But really, nobody's around here, so he must be bored out of his wits."

"I know, I feel bad for him." she said. "Of course, I'm just as bored."

"And you've got someone to talk to!"

"I meant before I started talking to you." she said, rolling her eyes. "You're a never-ending source of amusement." she said dryly.

"I know." he said, grinning at her. "So, do you have any ideas?"

"Well, it's Easter..."

"Yeah! We could act out Christ's death and resurrection..." he said sarcastically.

"That's not what I mean. I'm not sure what I mean. Never mind. We could just go talk to him."

"There's an idea I can handle. Why don't you go over, and I'll meet you there in 5 minutes."

"Why, where are you going?"

"Wait and see. I have an idea." he said, laughing. She shook her head and turned, walking towards the post-op ward.

"Major, let me tell you, I sure am glad you came in here. I mean, there isn't really a whole lot going on around here, and the nurse who was on duty was too busy with paperwork and stuff to really carry on a conversation." said the young man, his left arm bandaged and in a sling.

"Please, call me Margaret. We don't need to be so formal when there's nobody here." she laughed, sitting on the next bed. "I bet you'll be glad to get back to your unit after this."

"Yeah, really, anything for some action." said the young man, catching sight of Hawkeye out of the corner of his eye, but Hawk's gesture kept the boy from acknowledging the fact that he was there. Hawkeye snuck up behind Margaret and grabbed her from behind, pulling her into his arms and kissing her passionately. This went on for quite some time, Margaret, at first, was surprised, but when she realised who it was she gave in to the kiss, responding quite positively. When he finally pulled away, she stared at him for a moment, then remembered herself and glared at him.

"Really, Captain, you need to learn to respect your superiors." she said, wiping her mouth. They had totally and completely stunned the young man, and he looked as though he wasn't sure if he should be laughing, fainting, or not looking.

"I do respect my superiors...you don't see me doing that to Colonel Potter do you?" he asked, receiving a disgusted look from her.

"Captain Pierce, that is more than enough. I am also your superior." she said, not sure if he was joking or being serious.

"But Margaret, you're a superior who should be under me." he said, grinning and winking at her. This time the young man laughed out loud, though Margaret looked totally and completely disgusted. "If you know what I mean..."

"I most certainly do...I mean, I can figure out what you meant by that comment, and it is totally inappropriate." she said.

"I'm sorry, Maggie, I just can't help it. I just love you so much. It's hard to think straight when the woman you love is so painfully close..." he said, looking serious.

"MAGGIE! You can't call me Maggie...you...you what? Pierce...?"

"What? I finally had the guts to tell you how I really feel! You don't have to feel the same way, but...I just thought you should know." he said, winking at her from the eye that the patient couldn't see, letting her know he was playing around. For a moment she couldn't decide if she wanted to slap him or play along with him, but he made the decision for her when he took both of her hands in his and looked at her earnestly. "Please, Margaret, just be honest with me. I can take it...but I need to know. Please..."

"I...well...I...I love you too." she said, looking into his eyes, hoping that he didn't see the glint of truthfulness there. "I always have. I wish I knew you felt this way. I never would have wasted time with Frank, or Donald, or anyone else if I had just known."

"Will you marry me, Margaret?" he asked.

"Yes." she said, not taking her eyes off her new 'fiancé', but noticing that their patient was quite entertained.

"Let's not wait. Let's go find father Mulcahy right now and do it." he said, standing up and pulling her to her feet.

"Well...I...ok." she said, and with no more than a wave to their patient, they ran out the door. Once they got far enough so he wouldn't hear, they couldn't hold it in any longer, they just burst out laughing. They got some mighty strange looks from people passing by when they saw the Major and the Captain practically unable to stand because they were laughing so hard. It took them a moment to catch their breath, but once they did, they started all over again.

"Oh, Margaret..." said Hawkeye, finally, between gasps, "You're a very good actress."

"Thanks, Hawk. You're pretty damn good yourself. You scared me. I wasn't sure whether or not you were serious in there at first."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Up until you winked at me, I wasn't sure what you were doing. But our patient was quite entertained, anyway. There, Kellye is just going in to start her shift now. I wonder how quickly the story will spread through the camp?"

"As soon as Kellye sees another person." Hawkeye laughed. "Hey, Margaret, listen. You want to have a little fun?"

"Sure, why not? I've got nothing better to do. What do you have in mind?" she asked.

"Well..." he said, getting that familiar look in his eye, "Don't look at me like that, Margaret, I'm just kidding. I was just thinking, though, that for the rest of the day, we could pretend like we were really serious. I bet we could really throw people for a loop."

Margaret laughed out loud, "Yeah, that certainly has potential. But Hawk, we told him we were going straight to Mulcahy's tent to get hitched. We can't pretend we're married, the Father will know that it isn't true."

"Well, we could tell them that we got sidetracked. In your tent." he said, winking at her again.

"Ooo. That's good. I've always wanted people to think I was a whore." she said, unsure.

"Oh, come on Margaret."

"All right." she said, with a grin. "We're going to have to start with the acting now though."

"Fine with me." he said. "That aught to confuse people even before they hear the rumours."

Margaret leaned in close to Hawkeye and said, quietly, "Hawk, you were all right in bed, but next time, can you try to get it up a little quicker?" before she ran off towards the latrine, laughing, and leaving Hawkeye with a slightly shocked and hurt expression on his face.

Two hours later, all the officers of the 4077th MASH, except for Margaret, sat around a table in the mess tent eating a very silent, awkward supper.

"Ok, ok. I give up. You could cut this tension with a knife! What's going on?" asked Charles, who hadn't yet heard the rumour. BJ and Potter had, though, and they couldn't think of anything else to discuss around Hawkeye. They hadn't seen Hawk and Margaret together all day, so they hadn't seen any proof of the rumours they'd heard. They didn't want to mention it until they had at least seen something.

"Nothing" said BJ and Potter at the same time. Charles just shook his head and decided it must be yet another unit feud going on. They went on eating. Margaret came in a moment later, and after grabbing her meal, came over to join them. Hawkeye sat on the end of one of the benches, and Margaret came over to him, obviously wanting him to move over. He moved his tray over so she could set hers down, but when she tried to sit, he pulled her down onto his lap instead. She almost protested, but then remembered their ploy and contentedly started to eat her dinner. BJ and Potter were trying very hard not to look at the two of them, whereas Charles was openly staring. They pretended not to notice any of this, and just ate as though nothing unusual was going on. Overall, the room was so tense you could cut it with a knife.

"Ok, I am sorry to interrupt the first quiet meal in Korea, but I am wondering how you two can sit there and eat as though Margaret is not sitting on Pierces lap." said Charles, unable to stand the situation any longer.

"Didn't you hear the rumours?" asked BJ, looking up at Charles, but still keeping his eyes away from the couple at the end of the bench.

"What rumours?"

"Pierce and Margaret ran out of the post-op together today to get hitched." said Colonel Potter with a grin. He personally thought it was about time, but something here felt wrong.

"Hitc...they're MARRIED?" asked Charles, astounded. "To EACH OTHER?"

"No." said Margaret, from the end of the bench. "We were going to, but then we..." she said, trying to come up with a plausible excuse.

"We got distracted in her tent." said Hawkeye with a wink at the other guys.

"HAWKEYE!" Margaret said loudly, jumping off his lap and glaring down at him.

"What?"

"HOW DARE YOU! Do you think I want my CO and all my coworkers thinking that I'm the slut of southern Asia?" she yelled at him.

"Well...Margaret...I mean..." he started, deciding to play along with their break-up.

"NO! There's no excuse for that. I don't know why I thought I could love you, let alone marry you!" she screamed. "This is over, Pierce. For GOOD!"

"GOOD!" he yelled back, almost grinning at the sparkle in her eyes.

"FINE!" she yelled, storming out of the mess tent. He got up suddenly, threw his tray across the room and followed suit, leaving the room. After making sure no-one was watching him, he walked across the camp to Margaret's tent, knocking and then entering as the sign instructed. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, her shoulders shaking with her laughter. He sat in the chair across from her, laughing both at their performance and the look on her face. "You know," she said after a few minutes, "You're really a very good actor."

"You're pretty good yourself. I was wondering if you were going to start laughing there in the mess tent, but you almost had me convinced."

"I meant it, Hawk. I really think we need to end this engagement." she said, returning momentarily to seriousness before bursting into laughter again.

"Yes, that would be best. I'll see you tomorrow, Margaret. I've got to finish a letter to my father." he said, standing to leave.

"Yeah." she answered, smiling and watching him go. She just shook her head and started giggling again. Today had been the most fun of the whole ceasefire.

Hawkeye sat down on his cot once again, reaching under his pillow for his paper and pencil.

_Hey Dad. I'm back. You'll never guess what Margaret and I did today to help pass the time..._

Author's note: Hey guys. I hope ya'll enjoyed this. As you can tell, I'm not exactly an experienced fanfic writer, so I sure could use some reviews!


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